Hi, it’s Jess. Welcome to this very short breathing exercise. The purpose of this tool is to slow your heart rate and calm your nervous system.

Are you one of those people who’s super self-aware? Maybe, like me, you’re kinda proud of it. After all, we’ve worked hard at it! I spent years turning up the heat on mine—if I made a mistake, I’d double down, dissecting my flaws and all. 🔥

It’s definitely a strength, maybe it’s yours too. We’re deeply reflective, doing our best to be aware of our impact.

But what I thought was growth was actually self-betrayal in disguise. I was misusing my self-awareness, feeding it straight to my kick-ass inner critic.

What if the sweet spot, the Goldilocks spot, isn’t more awareness... but the right balance of ingredients at the right temperature?

I really want to talk about self-compassion.

It’s been a life long challenging practice for me, as a self-acclaimed lazy perfectionist (meaning my perfectionism didn’t lead to high-achieving as I would have liked, but to under-achieving which is, in my view, annoying, … can’t even get productive with my perfectionism!!! Anyhow moving on).

I keep seeing confusion or misunderstanding everywhere around me, personally and professionally about what self-compassion is exactly, how it shows up and how to actually practice it. 

If you know somebody ( or you know “a friend” right?) who’s ever made a “grimace” at the word, or a confused blank face “what now?”, or hear “nahHHH, it’s just for lazy asses who want to get off-the-hook so they can get away with whatever.”

This little piece of reflection might be for you.

I spent years cutting parts of myself out to become someone I could like.

I didn’t call it that at the time, of course.

I called it: Growth. Adaptation. Becoming more “me.”

Now I’m starting to see what that’s been costing me.

What if the parts we cut out were the ones holding it all together?

This is a story about a nickname I spent years resisting.

And how it ended up shaping my business, my coaching, and the way I understand growth.

It’s also a reflection on something many of us wrestle with:
the traits we try to fix, hide, or “improve”… and how those same traits often hold something useful, if we learn how to work with them. 

What if your ‘flaws’ aren’t flaws at all?