Breathing Pause

I had prepared a neat little article to introduce an intimate coaching program I plan to launch in 2026.

And then… it didn’t feel right.

A few days before Christmas, here in France (and across much of Europe), the energy is particular. People are winding down. Wrapping things up. Rushing for last gifts. Closing loops at work.

And as I reread my draft, a very clear thought popped up:

Who cares right now?

Not in a cynical way. In an honest one.

So I stopped.

Not because the program doesn’t matter. It does. But because this felt more true to share right now.

This year has been challenging. And full.

Personally, it’s been a year of deep, sometimes surprising transitions.

After more than ten years living abroad, I moved back to France. For many different reasons. I was very clear with myself that this stay would be temporary. My heart is still on the East Coast of Canada. And yet, somehow, I wanted to use this return as a form of closure.

I never really felt at home in France. Not fully. But as a more mature (and slightly wrinklier) Jess, I felt stronger and more prepared to wrap up some emotional loose ends. I thought this process would take a couple of years. This is where I was wrong. Thankfully.

In the meantime, things unfolded, and we decided to extend our French adventure and move even closer to my Lyonnaise family.

That decision wasn’t obvious. Or easy. I prepared myself carefully (with the invaluable support of my coach, Mali). Because moving towns, identities, and rhythms is never “just logistics.”

And yet, some beautiful things emerged.

I’m becoming an aunt. Tatie Jess. I got to meet my nephew and learn, in real time, how to belong in this new role.

I’m reconnecting with my sister. We now have a monthly brunch, just the two of us, which I always look forward to.

I’m watching my brother become a father. And wow… he’s really good at it.

I’m spending more time with my parents. I’m practicing French Sign Language more. My mum invited me and my sister to an event with her Deaf association in Lyon, where we discovered the mosaics of the artist EMEMEM. I even got gently scolded for chatting and signing too much and slowing the group down. Honestly, being scolded for “signing too much” felt pretty great. 😂

I can invite old friends into my home now, instead of always being the one invited whenever we come back to visit.

We found a great little house in a neighbourhood that feels like a small village. I'm feeling immensely grateful to have found our little oasis in the city.

I’ve started Tai Chi at the community center. My husband began volunteering with an association focused on justice and climate action. We’re settling. I’m rediscovering Lyon with new eyes. And to my great surprise, it’s been very lovely.

At the same time, returning as a repat comes with its own complexity. Family systems don’t freeze while we’re away. So I’ve been learning to show up with care, intention, and curiosity for dynamics that are still unfolding.

Professionally, this year stretched me in every direction.

Last year, I hired a marketing coach with a simple wish: to expand my business. (simple right?)

But not in a hustle-for-the-sake-of-hustle way.

My real North Star has always been quality. Quality of life. Quality in my relationship. Quality of work. Working less for more, while genuinely helping people.

So this year, I built. Slowly. Often awkwardly.

I increased my visibility on LinkedIn. I wrote and published long-form articles (and may I say: writing is not my favorite thing in the world, so this was a big stretch).

I created the Lead As You Are newsletter, still amazed that people actually read it.

I became certified in Embodiment Coaching and in Group Coaching.

I co-created and led a two-day somatic micro-certification, which I’m deeply proud of. The results were strong enough that we’re doing it again next year.

I learned to use AI tools (still learning, very much not an expert).

I started learning to think more like a CEO. A business owner.

I hired a virtual assistant to help me with outreach. Another thing I not only dislike, but feel deeply awkward about.

I had more than twenty conversations with peers and professionals to reality-check what I want to offer and who it’s truly for. Generous, honest conversations that mattered more than any strategy deck.

I said yes to podcasts. Me. On podcasts.

Talking about belonging, embodiment, self-leadership, leadership, authenticity, confidence, courage, and leading a life that actually fits us. Things I care deeply about. Things I never imagined myself speaking about publicly not so long ago.

I’m also expanding my identity.

My mentor, Alexa (an incredible human), helped me name something essential. She said: “You’re not stuck. You’re stretching.”

Then she asked a powerful question: “What part of your old identity do you need to thank and release for the new one to come?”

Bottom line: I’m becoming. And it’s ouchy.

Which is why everything I’ve done this year, I’ve done while feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes... Okay, most of the time. While navigating financial pressure. While having very limited time and energy.

I didn’t necessarily feel “great” while doing it. And that’s okay. Becoming and growing take energy and vulnerability. My nervous system and brain have been working overtime to keep me safe, often by pushing back.

So each step felt effortful. Emotionally demanding. Sometimes painful.

Lately, my personal practice sounds like this:

“Yes, I’m overwhelmed, because I’m becoming.”

“Yes, I’m scared, and I’m worthy.”

“Yes, it’s challenging because I’m growing, and I’m enough.” 🩷

So before talking about what’s coming next, I want to say thank you.

Thank you to my marketing coach, who witnesses the great, the bad, and the ugly every week, and keeps lovingly pushing me.

Thank you to the people who talked with me, challenged me, saw me, and offered thoughtful feedback.

Thank you to the training participants, to my mentees, and to the coaches I supervise, for teaching me to be a better trainer and supervisor.

Thank you to my coaching clients, who are so courageous in opening up and inviting me into their worlds.

Thank you to my virtual assistant. Hiring support felt like a milestone in itself. One of those “who would have thought?” moments.

And thank you to everyone who quietly follows, reads, encourages, or simply stays.

Thank you to my family for keeping things real. Thank you to Beth and Ross, for the consistent ongoing support, and love. Thank you to my Jack.

This was a very full year. I feel tired, and I can sense the need for rest, care, and a gentle slowing down.

More will come in 2026. You’ll hear about the Lead As You Are coaching program, and other projects that are still taking shape.

For now, I just wanted to pause here and breathe together.

So, join me for a moment: One inhale through the nose. One long exhale through the mouth. Three times. 😮💨

Thank you, 2025.

Hello, 2026.